surprisedentistry:

lezzyharpy:

ppl so desperate to defend chris prat joining that homophobic church by saying he might not kno its homophobic, or might not agree with that, or blah blah blah whatever can choke yall are pathetic going to bat for this millionaire celebrity

also entirely ignoring his history of allying with bigoted Christian organizations (specifically Jews for Jesus, an antisemitic organization devoted to converting Jews out of existence) 

ardri-na-bpiteog:

mythicalmessenger:

space-feminist:

inthannon:

oylmpians:

a list of current immortals

• florence welch: probably like 200 BCE celtic queen
  
• keeanu reeves: 1500 renaissance hoe
• jeff goldblum: late 1800′s i would guess
  
• harry styles: fairly new immortal, 1970′s 
  
• lorde: 1920′s flapper era
• hozier: man who even knows, rough estimate is like, 400 BCE
• john mulaney: 1930′s/40′s, still bitter about the great depression probably and if he could put it in a bit with out being #exposed he would
  
• paul rudd: newest to the immortal club, didn’t age past the 1990′s

I feel like this list is forgetting Sir Patrick Stewart who I believe has not aged since 7000 BCE.. After all his twin brother was the Kennewick man..

as a self-appointed expert on Hozier, i would say that date is possibly accurate.  

many of Hozier’s songs reference being buried in the earth (In a Week, Work Song), and some are directly inspired by bog bodies (Like Real People Do, Run). two of the most famous Irish bog bodies, Old Croghan Man and Clonycavan Man, are dated between 392 and 175 BCE, and both are speculated to have been kings ritually sacrificed to the goddess of the land. in Take Me to Church, Hozier demonstrates a willingness to offer sacrifices to a goddess, and in Foreigner’s God, he thinks fondly upon the image of a pre-Christian Ireland (“when the land was God-less and free”). as well, Old Croghan Man is estimated to have been about 6′6, and Hozier is about 6′5. 

the only possible flaw in this theory is that in a Facebook Q&A (here at 5:28), Hozier says that he is over 3000 years old. 400 BCE only puts him at ~2400. it could be that after so many years he’s lost track of how many thousands, but another possibility is that he is more contemporaneous with an older bog body, the Cashel Man, also presumed to be a sacrificed king. that would put him closer to 4000 than 3000, but again, we could forgive an immortal for getting his millenia wrong.

in any case, it seems likely to me that Hozier is an ancient Irish king who was ritually sacrificed to the old gods, but somehow returned (possibly through intervention by said old gods) to give us music subtly hinting at his experiences.

this hozier addition is frighteningly detailed and I’m here for it

Hozier is reincarnated to drive the brits out for good and restore pagan gaelic Ireland

dingdongyouarewrong:

dingdongyouarewrong:

dingdongyouarewrong:

I just found a really old blog where a bunch of people genuinely tried to buy an island for Tumblr people to live on, and the entire blog was just them arguing about what the laws on that island should be and how they should fund it

the url is teamisland if anyone wants to look back in horror

the juxtaposition of these two posts is the only evidence you ever need that no one on this website should ever be allowed power

swordlesbianism:

swordlesbianism:

swordlesbianism:

Every other straight man ever singing about a woman: wow baby you’re so sexy I love you because your body is sexy

Hozier, an intellectual and lesbian ally: I am a bird of prey and you are a sharp spike upon which I impale small rodents

Straight man #2505: we met at the club she was really hot

Forest lad himself: it was as my baby churned up the mud that she found me there, buried and alone

Fucking eduardo sheerman or whomever: I just want to errr kiss you babe

Andrew Hozier Byrnes: I want nothing more than for us to lay in a field together until we decompose and are eaten by foxes

libertarirynn:

Spiderverse is proof that we want compelling new stories, not just race/genderbent versions of old ones. Miles Morales is not just “black Peter Parker“, he’s his own unique character with his own personality and background. He should not be reduced to or shoved into the mold of an existing character of a different race.